That Dang Dating Website Awkwardness

Well, why the heck not… I’ve officially joined a dating website. I won’t tell you which one. I’ll only tell you that it rhymes with patch bot dom.

Ever since my last relationship ended a couple months ago, I decided to go on a “woman fast.” No women, no dating, no romance. At least not until I felt like my heart could handle another good bludgeoning.

Good crap, dating websites are awkward. There’s nothing about them that isn’t awkward. I mean, think about it.

I know I’ve told people that there isn’t the same stigma with meeting people online as there used to be. But there is still a stigma.

“Where’d you two meet, anyway?”

It’s the ultimate conversation killer. Don’t ask me why. Maybe because there’s never some romantic story to go with it.

“It was so sweet, he clicked the wink button, and then he sent me a note, and then we chatted on IM, and then we totally fell in love.”

Yeah, just doesn’t sound as awesome as, “We were both getting coffee, and we ran into each other and spilled our coffee all over each other, and we started laughing hysterically, and we knew… we just knew…”

Okay, I guess that’s not super romantic either. But you get the point.

And then there’s the whole “filling out a profile.” I mean… gosh. How do you sell yourself as the coolest person ever without sounding like a stuck-up douche?

“Yeah, I am a serious mountain climber. I fly to South America 92 times each year and do surgeries for free on suffering children. I love my mom SO much. And, I’m the hottest guy on earth.”

I’m a writer, and the match.com profile is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to come up with. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to getting writer’s block.

But, I finally did it. And I posted it. And I edited 623 times since last Tuesday.

Yet, I still haven’t met the girl of my dreams.


By the way, did you know that everybody is a hiker on dating websites? I’m pretty sure that every person who ever signed-up for the service clicked the little checkbox that said, “I love to hike.”



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