Has ‘tinder fatigue’ made it into the dictionary yet? It’s only been two minutes since people stopped using Guardian Soulmates and affirming that they were “willing to lie about how we met,” but already we’re SO OVER dating apps, aren’t we? So how can you fall back in love with Tinder, Bumble, Happn et al – and maybe, just maybe even find the one? The experts over at Project Love are dedicated to helping women create lives, relationships and careers they love -here are their tips on how to rethink your approach to dating apps…
We’ve all been there, that moment where you become disillusioned by the dating app world and conclude that all the good ones have gone. There’s no denying the fact that dating can be hard but when you approach your dating life from a place of love, you’re more able to bounce back after any disappointments or rejections that you may encounter and have a giggle along the way. This is why self love is at the heart of Project Love especially when it comes to dating. By changing your mindset and practicing daily self love, you get to rewrite the narrative and make dating fun and enjoyable.
Channel Those Positive Vibes
Be the energy you want to attract. If you want to attract someone fun and outgoing then start channeling this energy, from the minute you start writing your profile through to firing off those messages to potential dates. Set your intention from the start and cultivate those positive vibes before you tap the apps. Play around with your own dating ritual and most importantly have fun. From playing your favourite Spotify playlist through to wearing your favourite perfume or lipstick, get yourself in the right frame of mind before you begin writing and swiping.
Write Your Own Narrative
Spend more time perfecting the perfect selfie instead of writing your profile? We hear from our clients all the time saying “If I can just get my profile picture right then I will meet the right kind of person”. In actual fact the big game changer is more about your attitude and mindset. Start with being positive in your profile, it might sound like an obvious one but it is not something everyone does naturally, so rather than start with a long list of what you don’t want, start focusing on what you DO want. Leave the frustrating tendencies of the dating world behind and bring your best self to your profile. Reveal information about yourself. Show your uniqueness, such as putting little details at the end such as ‘got a dark sense of humour’ or love rock climbing.
Time to get a bit woowoo here and start visualising your future date. Imagine what it is like to already be with your future partner on a date. Close your eyes and notice what that looks and feels like. Feels great doesn’t it. Now channel those positive feelings into your dating description, imagine you are writing to your future partner with an engaging, confident and friendly tone. Research shows that this technique increases performance by improving motivation whilst also reducing fear and anxiety. This is why athletes will visualise winning the race before they even start. So why not apply that to dating and give it go.
Avoid the Dead Zone
When do you find yourself reaching for the apps? Is it boredom on the local commute, slumped in an Uber after a night out with friends or maybe on the loo?! Steer clear of the Dead Zone. ‘Your mood will come across in the messages you put out there, whether you realise it or not. And that mood will attract someone in a similar kind of mood’.
Your dating life is precious and deserves dollops of respect and attention. Why not try shaking up your app routine and texting from different locations and situations. If you reach for your phone after an exhausting day at work in bed, then try texting in the morning over breakfast and coffee.
‘Get Ready for Love’ – the 30 lesson online course is available online here. Project Love’s Vicki and Selina have a combined 14 years of experience in helping people create lives they love and have lead over 3,000 people through their coaching programmes, courses and retreats. Vicki is the love coach and Relationship & Dating Expert over at Match.com and brings a powerful mix of NLP and EFT tools and techniquues to their courses and coaching. Selina is the life design and career coach and brings 10 years of experience creating successful online courses and coaching a long list of clients from Google directors, to A-list musicians to leaders in the creative and music industry.
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