I Felt the Earth Move… While on an On-Line Dating Site

I Felt the Earth Move… While on an On-Line Dating Site

Yesterday, California’s Earthquake gave this single a tingle and a wake-up call to speed-up the dating process… 

What was I doing when I felt the 5.3 earthquake in Los Angeles?  I was checking out a new admirer on a dating site – needless to say, all my ‘Deal Breakers’ went poof!

That’s right – Camping, Tattoos, Republican…now I’ll take any height, any weight, any sex, any Species!

Earthquakes can do that.  All your decisions are made for you!  Or you just get ‘the runs’.

But enough about me at 12:29, 12:39, 12:49!

Or, maybe it’s a sign?  Is he my Beshert?  In Yiddish, Beshert means Destiny or Kismet.

Or, in plain English; a pig in a poke.

But, I have my doubts.  Maybe if he was looking at my photo at the exact same time – now that’s Beshert!

So, should I use ‘the Earthquake’ as an ‘Intro-starter’?

“You bring the Flashlight; I’ll bring the Spam”?

I’ve never eaten Spam before, why would I want to start now?

I wish I could’ve been doing something less desperate than trolling for a mate when the earthquake hit off the Channel Islands – but the odds were against me.

You see, 9 times out of 10; I’m either checking out my Hits on on-line dating, changing my age & weight on on-line dating or pestering Starbucks for a 500 Cup Loyalty Punch Card!

(Yes, I pay for the coffee – why do you think I get so many hits)

Well, I have a lot to be thankful for; but have to be extra careful making rash decisions – the last time I felt an earthquake I was at the Teller’s window in my bank.

I took all my money out & ordered a Big Mac & Fries!

The following two tabs change content below.

Marilyn Sands is a former 80’s Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.

While we have you…

… we have a small favor to ask. More and more people are reading the Humor Times, but advertising revenues for internet sites everywhere keep falling. And unlike so many other websites, we have not put up a paywall — we want to keep this much-needed political humor free, if possible!

So you can see why we need to ask for your help. The Humor Times’ unique content takes a lot of time and effort to produce… But we do it because we believe uncompromising political satire is more important than ever these days.

If everyone who reads and likes our website helps fund it, we can continue to help people laugh at the news, rather than cry about it! For as little as $1, you can support the Humor Times – and it only takes a minute. Thank you!

Also, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter via our , contributing a certain amount each month. You can do it for as long or as short a time as you like. It’s a huge help with our monthly budget!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *