Some people think that dating apps are totally ruining dating and it’s easy to see why. We don’t exactly treat people the way that we should, and it’s all thanks to the culture of swiping left and right that we’ve created. But what if we lived in a world without any dating apps at all? If we all dated the old-fashioned way, here’s what it would be like:
We’d keep our options open. We would consider that cute friend of a friend at a party as a potential boyfriend instead of ignoring him because we’re used to online dating. We would always keep our options open and would feel like we could literally meet our person in the next five minutes. It’d be such a difference from swiping left on tons of guys because we don’t like their hair or eye color.
We’d hold onto a good guy when we found one. We’d never even dream of thinking that if we just opened up Tinder or OkCupid, we’d find 100 more guys where this one came from. Once we met a good guy that made us smile and who we could actually talk to, we’d never want to let him go. Why put ourselves through the hell of dating when we know that we’ve found what we were looking for? It’s super sad that thanks to dating apps, we’ve all subscribed to the whole “there are always more fish in the sea” notion. Without the option of swiping, we would appreciate people a lot more.
We’d ask guys out anywhere and everywhere. That guy who always goes to the Starbucks near our office on his lunch hour? How about the one in our regular CrossFit class or that acquaintance who always pops up at every social event that we’ve invited to? We would ask any guy out that we wanted to instead of feeling like we’re chained to the rhythm of dating apps.
We’d tell people how we feel. No hiding behind screens or trying to put our best online image forward. We would tell the guy that we’re crushing on how we feel and if we wanted him to be our boyfriend, we wouldn’t shy away from that, either. It just wouldn’t make sense to mince words or hide our emotions since we would be dating IRL instead of behind a phone screen.
We’d never ghost ever again. If we dated the old-school way and dating apps no longer existed, we would definitely never ghost again. Why would we? We’d be super used to talking things out and using our phones would almost be a second thought.
We’d go on more dates with the same person. We would say goodbye to the idea that the next Tinder date that we go on is going to be the most epic first date of our lives. If we had a good first date with a guy that we met offline, we would be glad and see him a second time. And a third time. And so on. Why mess with something that’s going so well? The thought wouldn’t even occur to us, and it would be super awesome.
We wouldn’t document everything on social media. There’s something about the way that we date these days that makes it seem super normal to mention our boyfriend in every single Facebook status update or post couple selfies on Instagram more than regular selfies. It’s a bit much. If we dated the old-school way, we might not feel the need to show off so much. And it would honestly be so much better. We know that we’re dating someone great. Why do we need to tell everyone that we’ve ever met?
We wouldn’t get into the comparison trap. When we’re single and swiping away, it’s tempting to compare our love lives to that of our best friends. If our BFF has the best Tinder date ever, we feel pretty crappy that our last five have been horrible. If she’s finally in a relationship after years of online dating, we wonder why we still can’t have a decent first date. It’s so easy to get into the comparison trap when we’re using dating apps. When we meet someone IRL, it’s a much more natural, chill thing, and it feels like our love story is truly ours.
We would have a more positive attitude about dating. It’s impossible to date in this digital age without absolutely hating it. Even the most optimistic among us have to admit that dating apps suck (at least most of the time). If we didn’t date using apps or any kind of technology, we would definitely feel like our next boyfriend was just a day away. We would know that it was possible to actually meet guys in real life so we wouldn’t have to stress out about it or feel like dating is a slog until we finally meet someone legit.
We wouldn’t get feel pressure about meeting The One. It’s totally normal to hate on our solo status from time to time, but we should be content that we’re living our lives to the fullest, boyfriend or no boyfriend. That’s easier said than done, especially when we feel like we should be dating 24/7 since our next date is literally on our phone (so to speak). If we dated the old-school way, we would feel like the universe was going to take care of our love life, and we would chill out a lot. Sounds good, right?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories on her food blog, ahealthystory.com. She loves coffee, barre classes and pop culture.